Dear Money,

I was thinking...maybe the problem wasn’t you after all.

I hope that in writing this, we can be better friends after so many years of unpredictable, unreliable, unfortunate relations.

I know I came to our relationship with a ton of expectations and thoughts about how you were, instead of trying to understand how I wanted you to be. I’m sorry about all that.

I believed it when people said that you were difficult to manage. Even before I met you, I believed them when they said how hard it is to have you come and visit. I believed them when they sighed at your short stay. I saw them sigh and become sad when you’d come for a big, fun visit and then as fast as you came into our lives, you seemed to disappear without a trace.

They worried you wouldn’t come back. They waited by the phone for you. They mentioned you in most of their conversations. They yelled about you in all of their fights. One time, a lasagna was thrown on the couch because of you. That was a very sad day, for the lasagna, the couch, and everyone who didn’t eat that night.

I wonder, perhaps you were just around the corner. Maybe you were. Did you run away when they got close? That’s what they said you do. They said you are tricky and hard to get. They said you run and hide and make it difficult to find you. That’s why they wanted to lock you up and keep you somewhere. They call it a safe keeping but it’s not really, is it?

They didn’t trust that you’d come back, and the more they didn’t trust, the less often you came around. We repelled you with our fearful thoughts which turned to beliefs which turned into actions, and non-actions. Then we cursed you for what showed up and didn’t show up.

Maybe you were consistent, ready, and willing and we tricked ourselves into believing you were these other terrible things. Maybe we were the ones who were inconsistent, unpredictable and unreliably playing games.

Well, thank you.

Thank you for always being ready to come back when we allowed it. Thank you for playing fair when we didn’t and not judging back. Thank you for playing your role so that we can learn about ourselves through our relationship with you.

Thank you for your predictable, reliable, fortunate relations.

PS: Sorry that we were buttheads about the whole thing.